Change. the messy middle. grit. the new you.

Let’s talk about change.  It’s hard!
“Change is hardest at the beginning, messiest in the middle and best at the end.” ― Robin Sharma
Wouldn’t it be fabulous if change happened very quickly?  Wouldn't it be great to wake up in the morning and think: “I want to start eating better.” And then we do. Or decide, “I am going to stop drinking red wine” and never pick up another glass?  Or "I am going to leave this unhealthy relationship and really start to take care of myself." And then we do.
In psychology and therapy, we conceptualize that change is a process involving five stages: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance. That sounds a little fluffy and mucky, and it is helpful to dig a little deeper.
Failure just might be the most important part of authentic change and growth. Failure is just growth in wolves clothing and pretty much nothing else is as important in life as personal expansion and the unfoldment of your potential. Love your many wolves. The truth is we have choices and follow through and we continue to learn. I have been to the school of hard knocks and learned to develop the habit of learning throughout my lifetime.  My hunger for knowledge and insight guides me after my failures, and there have been many of them.
And yes, I agree growth can be scary, but I have learned that, that part of me that clings to fear must experience self-compassion, so that the part of me that deserves change undergoes a kind of reincarnation. To find your best self you must not only pick yourself up and dust yourself off with self-compassion, but you must also know your WHY.
The Why
My why will be different than your why and that is OK. Dig a little deep and unpack your why. I will be the same person five years from now that I am today except for two things- my attitude and the goals I set because I know my why.  I realize that my ability to make decisions and choose direction will be directly influenced and affected by my why.  When I want to do 'hard things' my why is my compass. Over the past several years, my why for most change in my life has been, 'because I want to be a strong, healthy and kick-ass Grandma."  Now we can invite grit to this party.
Grit
Grit is a construct that is said to summon both passion and perseverance in service of a long-term goal. It's a marathon, not a sprint. In other words, gritty people put in sustained effort over time to achieve a high level of success in their chosen domain. We also need grit to get through personal change and hard stuff. That messy middle is like quick sand sometimes! It is for this reason that I will constantly seek information, and enjoy the process of learning, and by doing so I will be the person I want to be five years from now, not only because of my good decisions and wise choices, but also because of my failures and grit. I know this grit is inside of you too, just waiting to dance with you. 
Grit Is a Choice
I'm aware of the words I speak to myself and to others, knowing that I can create prosperity or destruction, joy or sorrow, love or hate, all from the words I use. Your self-talk is important! I realize that within my own mind and heart I hold the key that will unlock my future moving me in an upward direction. This key is my attitude of grit and I know that through effort and focus it will remain positive, allowing me to attract into my life positive ends and positive people while holding off discouragement, self doubt and apathy. I see the grit in you. 
Set Goals
If there is true magic to be found in this world it is the ability to set, pursue, and conduct every goal we desire to achieve. All chance of failure is set aside when I take my goal, commit to it writing it, read it on a consistent basis, and then put into action that which moves me in the direction of the desired outcome. Without the goal, I leave to chance my hope of being better tomorrow than I am today. Invite grit to your party and let it whisper in your ear, "You got this!"  With grit in your heart and a pen in your hand, write out your why and your goals. Here are some prompts to get you started:
Goals for Personal Growth and Change
1. Increase self-compassion and reduce self-criticism in response to setbacks and failures.
2. Develop strategies for managing anxiety and stress related to personal relationships and life transitions.
3. Enhance sleep hygiene and address fatigue.
4. Foster a greater sense of purpose and meaning in daily activities.
5. Strengthen social support networks and improve positive communication.
Don't Quit
We spend every moment of our lives consciously or unconsciously developing our character. Conscious intention provides us with grit, the ability to keep going long after the mood in which it was made leaves us. It's important to make a habit of looking past the obstacles and  toward the goal, even though our concentration may be set on ways of overcoming the challenge. Imagine and visualize what is on the other side of the obstacle. It truly is an incredible sensation when you move past it and on towards the achievement. Grit is good news. Some days my grit is wrapped up in some of my favourite songs: Bon Jovi, ("We'll give it a shot. Whoa, we're half way there. Oh-oh, livin' on a prayer "); Pink (You gotta get up and try, try try."); or Cia ("I am unstoppable today.")
Every idea I may imagine and every aspiration I may want are only thoughts and wishes. The conviction to make difficult decisions, stand firm in the messy middle, and eventually come out the other side of the tunnel is hard.  What if your finest hours here on earth lie on the other side of the challenge where change waits patiently? I am always willing to heal bruises and wounds and try one more time.  Are you?  I think you are worth it!
There is always a beginning, a messy middle and a worthwhile outcome. This is how we learn, grow and change. Align with the magic that is within you, take the first baby step, move through the messy middle with grit, and embrace the new YOU! 

Go Forth & Slay in Self-Love